


As The Clouds Gather

by Laily



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Past Stephen Strange/Christine Palmer - Freeform, Romance, Stephen Strange Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26173594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laily/pseuds/Laily
Summary: The rain puts a dampener on Loki and Stephen's evening plans, and Loki risks drowning to save Stephen from sinking.
Relationships: Loki/Stephen Strange
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	As The Clouds Gather

It was raining cats and dogs again. It should not have made much of a difference what the weather was like. Staying in was pretty much as enjoyable, if not more, when all you needed to make a good evening was a warm fire, some good food, nice music, and –

“Stephen?” 

Stephen did not answer, his thousand-yard stare out the Sanctum’s third-floor window looking at everything and nothing in particular. 

The window steamed up with the heat of Stephen’s breath and the palm of the trembling hand he had pressed to the glass, the condensation obscuring Loki’s reflection as it slowly approached from behind. 

The rain sounded and smelled the same down here on Earth; the petrichor may be too faint for human noses to detect, yet Loki’s keen senses picked it up all the same. 

But the profound sadness he was sensing came not with the rain. 

The raindrops trickled down the window outside in slow rivulets. From where Loki was standing, not too far that he was out of immediate reach nor too close for comfort, the raindrops looked like tears on Stephen’s face. 

Loki touched the tips of his fingers to the hollow of Stephen’s cheek. They came away dry but his relief was short-lived, for the sadness lingered, its invisible claws deep and clenching. 

Stephen’s chest stilled as he ceased to breathe, the condensation clearing just enough to lift the shroud cloaking Loki’s mirror-image. 

Loki needed not ask what was weighing on Stephen’s mind. The loudest tears were the ones you did not cry after all.

It was on a night just like this that Stephen was robbed of his hands, his mortal livelihood, his life as he knew it then.

The way he fidgeted with the strap on his wrist as though he could not remove it fast enough was telling.

Oh Stephen, always so considerate of Loki’s feelings. 

Sometimes Loki wondered what he had done in his previous lives to be so lucky.

The patina on the watch strap was a sight to behold, as enduring and everlasting as Christine’s love for Stephen, Loki was sure. 

The accident may have happened long before they met, but it was as much a part of Stephen as the piece of Loki’s heart he had stolen. 

Loki’s cold hand closed over Stephen’s wrist. The meaning behind the subtle shake of his head could not be any clearer. 

_Leave it on._

Stephen looked at him sharply, as if to ask, _You sure?_

The minute cracks dug into the palm of Loki’s hand like broken glass. Its broken face held a grotesque beauty that only existed in imperfection. 

Loki shook his head again. _Not on my account_. 

Thor once asked him if he was sure.

 _“What about?”_ Loki had asked in return, feigning ignorance. He did that sometimes, especially when either he (or Thor) knew too much or came too close to unravelling one of his dark, dark secrets. 

_“Are you in too deep?”_ Thor then decided to press him with another question in lieu of an answer. 

The knee-jerk response on the tip of Loki’s quick tongue wavered between one dripping in sarcasm and one of more ignorance, which was the much safer option – but the worry in Thor’s eyes stopped him short. 

It was something Loki had seen before, in the way Thor had once looked at his mortal lover Jane Foster. 

When Loki was quiet for too long, Thor finally relented in a voice gruff with gentle caution and concern. _“It could break your heart.”_

And now, holding these damaged hands abreast his own hurting chest...Loki heard the echo of his painful words resounding in his head.

_“He’s human, Thor.”_

Loki pressed his lips gently to the scarred knuckles. 

_He already is._

At the touch of Loki’s lips against his hand, Stephen snapped out of his reverie. He was about to reassure his lover with a smile when a frown took its place instead. “Why do you look so sad?” 

Loki searched Stephen’s face and wondered whose grief Stephen was referring to. 

He decided it did not matter. 

“You’re breaking my heart,” Loki answered truthfully for once.

“Loki – ”

_“Hush.”_

In quiet alarm, Stephen’s eyes followed the trail of Loki’s thumb as it kneaded circles into the aching groove of fibrous scar tissue and atrophied muscles on the back of his hand, the remnant of the traumatic accident that had nearly ended his life before it began...

Loki’s impossibly smooth skin felt unbelievably good on Stephen’s calloused skin. “The pain isn’t that bad.” 

For all the good his double entendre did him, Loki’s eyes watered nonetheless. “Still.”

The crease on Stephen’s forehead deepened.

“Don’t you die before me, Strange.”

It was then he understood. 

The crease disappeared. He gently extricated his hand, no longer throbbing with phantom pain, out of Loki’s grasp, only to reach up for his lover’s ice-cold cheek. 

“Don’t _you_ , before _me.”_

“Only one of us can make that promise with absolute certainty, I think,” Loki said, his voice catching in his throat. 

There was no fooling Thor, or Stephen. There was no fooling _himself_. 

Loki was in too deep. Up or down, he was going to drown either way. 

“I am sorry for making you worry,” Stephen said quietly. 

A Collection of Broken Things, Loki thought, that is what we are. 

_That is all we are_.

And with that, he spelled all dark thoughts away, banishing them to the very depth of his soul, feeling strangely comforted. 

They may be broken, but they would not have found one another otherwise. Destiny would not have allowed it. 

Loki turned his head to kiss the palm of Stephen’s hand. “Apology accepted.”

Nothing else mattered, for now, for this lifetime. 

They may be broken, but together they were whole. 

As long as they sheltered each other, come rain or shine, they would be whole. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation on Discord. 
> 
> The world cries today. Rest in peace, Chadwick.


End file.
